Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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