Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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