He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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