How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
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