Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
