so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
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