Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Randomize
