so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
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