yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Ladies don't puke and tell
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize