you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
