Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
Randomize
