A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
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walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
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We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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