Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Randomize
