i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Just cropdusted the office
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You made me promise I wouldnt let you play "fuck fuck goose" with a 40 year old ever again.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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