Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
i think im in europe. pls send help
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
