Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
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