I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize