She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Sober January is a disaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize