No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
