Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
i think i just lost a toe
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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