you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
It's never too late to be topless.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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