I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
