he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
I'm really busy with my period
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