what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
Randomize
