I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he told me I talked like a deaf person
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
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