we made out on top of his cat.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Randomize
