alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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