i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
