So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
time to smoke my breakfast
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Randomize
