waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
Randomize
