mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
it was like his penis was on wheels.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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