I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
Randomize
