What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
