I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
He did a line, told me my hair looked pretty against the background of the clouds, and then we fucked. Good afternoon
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
well, you know. whores of a feather.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
