I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
there is glitter all over my balls
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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