Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
