Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
I wish there were birth control emojis
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize