is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Randomize
