good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
Randomize
