im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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