Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Randomize
