You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
