i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
