So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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