Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Randomize
