You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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