I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
