I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
Can vaginas get frostbite?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
