she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
