It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Randomize
