if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
Randomize
