Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
Randomize
