i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
you would pick up someone in the library
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
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