I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
I'm at about main and main street
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
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