Do you still have your period?
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
I wanna passion pit in your ass
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
