NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Dude I think I was making out with the cat last night
I don't have a cat..?
Well nonetheless. Whatever it was purred when I used tounge.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
He can only pee with the faucet running. It's like I'm dating a fucking toddler.
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
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