just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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