it glows. i had to have it.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
