I feel like I'm in dance class right now
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
