So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Maybe it's just my body's way of telling me I don't need pinky toes. Like I'm the next evolutionary leap or something...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Randomize
