i don't plan on having that self control this summer
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
