I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize