I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
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