VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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