okay pat passed out under dana's car
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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