i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
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