its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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