She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Ate pizza for the 3rd time today, can't decide if that's disgusting or an amazing aspect of American culture.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Randomize
