so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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